I, myself, have found that I am not immune to the need to be accepted. Whether it be part of the work place as a productive member that everyone wants to work with, as an established writer, or as a close friend.
Humans are not the only ones to obsess over this need to be accepted. Animals are also known to exhibit such behaviours. For example, dogs and cats, when living together, will sometimes fight over who gets to be the alpha of the household. Once a position is established, any new additions have to try to find their place in the group or be rejected. Even among established groups, animals still jaunt for position and try to better their standings in many social circles. Alpha Lions are consistently challenged by peers, in hopes of attaining their pick of the female lions and the prestige they think that goes with it. The part that I find interesting, especially when it comes to humans, we often forget about the other people and that there are those that want to be a part of your currently established group.
A good friend of mine was having a bad week and we were out doing karaoke on a Monday night. A small group of currently top karaoke people in the city were sitting together and visiting and we were by ourselves. There was a longing to be part of that crowd, and my friend was in a funk. A few days later, the same people that appeared to be ignoring us were out somewhere else, and suddenly we seemed to be a center of attention and things were great again. I recall a time where this same friend, when she was hosting karaoke, had a massive following with her at her shows. Our group expanded from four of us to twenty people in a very short time and we constantly had others trying to join our crowd. To them, I am sure we seemed like the crowd to be around and probably also felt rejected when we didn't seem interested in letting them join us.
My point is, this. It is natural to think the grass is greener on the other side and you may receive some instant gratification by belonging to a certain group. But look inside yourself and at what you have to offer.
- If you feel that you have nothing, then change it.
- Draw people toward you and make others want to be in your group.
- Accentuate the qualities that make you unique and you will attract a crowd that will help you grow into the person that you want to be.
Strive to be the accepting, and not the accepted.